At summer camp, conscripted into a drowning-rescue exercise, she gladly lets her nemesis sink beneath the water. She thinks of homicide when she should be thinking of boys she guillotines her dolls and sleeps with their discombobulated parts. Wednesday Addams is not like other girls. “Are they made from real Girl Scouts?” Wednesday counters. “I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies.”
“I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown with no preservatives,” a perky Girl Scout tells her, rolling her eyes in an unwitting rendition of today’s Goop-flogging wellfluencers. Midway through 1991’s The Addams Family, young Wednesday Addams attempts to supplement her family’s lost fortunes by selling poison lemonade for a nickel.
Join Longreads and help us to support more writers.Įmily Alford | Longreads | Novem| 8 minutes (2,132 words)
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